It's a Tough Life

Goin for a ride with Daddy


Costco fun!


Does my outfit distract you from the dog food I'm trying to eat?


I need some more toys Mommy.

Go with the flow

One of the things I'm learning to love about parenthood is the mandatory lesson in relaxing and going with the flow. Toddlers are in charge and while I think we are creating basic boundaries and rules, we're also learning to let him make choices and follow his lead.

Last Friday we went out to the lakefront to soak up every moment of summer we could and enjoyed some BBQ on the beach, then went down to the dog beach to let Mookie run around (which actually means he just runs in a 15' diameter of me). I took off Oliver's shoes and expected him to play in the sand, but nope! He went straight into the lake and immediately sat down (imagine how heavy that cloth diaper got!). He loved it. He sat in the shallow water playing for twenty minutes, watching dogs run around, splashing, attempting to take some sips and smiling at his parents above. We didn't have a towel or a change of clothes, but who cares, he loved it and didn't mind riding home in a diaper and covered in sand.

Life is short, toddlers remind old people of this. Go with the flow, it won't hurt!

Back to School

Chris went back to school tonight for Semester #3 in grad school and as a stay-at-home Dad. I'm so proud of him for making this all work and I hope that we can teach Oliver the benefits of education by our examples.

Sick lil' Boy

Oliver got a cold yesterday and is pretty pathetic sicky. He's been happy while awake, but sleeping is hard since he's coughing and can't use his Nuk all that well with a stuffed nose. Last night I just got him up and he sat with me, looking right into my eyes, touching my hair, smiling under his runny nose and being still. He couldn't let himself sleep despite being so tired, but he did let himself rest in my arms. He eventually went and climbed into one of his toy boxes and sat there for a long while too, equally still and inquisitive. I love being a Mom.

15 months

Oliver at 15 months: happy, curious, cuddly, sweet, fast, exploratory, demanding, delightful.Fluffy and ready to roll

Needy and fussy

Tricky, smart and silly

Since learning to walk, Oliver hasn't looked back. I keep wondering if he'll crawl again, but he hasn't once. While playing at the park recently he couldn't quite figure out how to walk down a ramp, the slope being too sharp, so he went down to his knees. Fooled me though, he thought it made sense to go down like Superman, on his belly, arms out! Though the slope was too flat for that option too. He also independently walked up to a slide, sat down, scooted to the front and went straight down. Big boy stuff!

He likes to fold his arms and rest his chin, on the kitchen table, on Dad's head when being carried on shoulders.

Yesterday morning he was playing in the bathroom while I did my makeup and he disappeared. I ran out to find that he had plunged a roll of wrapping paper into the toilet.

He has found out dryer and turns it on all the time, also turns off our furnace switch.

He asks for things he wants and has much more memory for where things are kept, what's left on tables, etc. He'll come back to the kitchen counter and reach and whine "no no no" which translates to, "can I please have my sippy cup that you left there an hour ago?"

He sleeps 12-13 hours in the night with another 3-4 hours of naps in the day. Active baby! More often than not the night is straight though, no waking up! With that came a realization that without realizing it, I no longer rock him to sleep. I cuddle him before bed and sing songs, but it's been over 2 months since he fell asleep on my chest and I carefully transferred him to his crib.

He is working on words, still mostly "no" and "banana", but he also dabbles with dada, mama, doggy, ball, outside, vroom vroom, and YES.

Naked Baby

Who doesn't love a naked baby toddling around the lake house at twilight?

Spoons and Words

My friend Chrissy has a daughter about a month older than Oliver and often acts as my adviser on parenting a 14 month old (at the moment). With a toddler also in her family, she laughed to learn I still spoon fed Ollie yogurt and the like and encouraged me to just give him a spoon and let him try, so I did! Superstar did quite well.

This video also shows him using his first and favorite word, "No!" and his second word, "banana nana nana"

Perfectionism in Parenting

My desire to be perfect rares it's ugly head in odd situations. In general I consider myself a good mommy, but far far from perfect, and in all honesty, I think Oliver does better having an honest, but not perfect Mom.

Tonight I dragged my post- vacation lazy booty to the gym to attempt to break the running rut I've stumbled across and Oliver when to the Kid Center, which he loves. When I picked him up they had to tell me that I couldn't ever bring a peanut butter and jelly sandwich again, due to allergies. I felt like such an idiot, though it's clearly a new situation for us (solids in general, meals to day care, allergies). They were friendly about it, but it still made me feel like a dopey checked out Mom who didn't know the protocol of parenting.

All is well, now I know that lesson, moving on.

The Ollie Hustle

Oliver began walking last week. We spent the weekend in Milwaukee for a wedding and discovered very clearly why it was such a delight to have 14 months of a baby that stays in your arms reach. The wedding and whole weekend were really great, lots of friends and catching up. The wedding was at an aquatic center and the reception was at the Urban Ecology Center, an amazing place, both venues that provided oodles of square footage for walking walking exploring walking and more walking. Fortunately, Oliver was adored by all the people he encountered on his adventures, making friends as he went, but I quickly discovered that parenting gets harder here as do adult conversations, since Chris or I had to constantly be excusing ourselves to go toddle after our toddler. Chris, super dad that he is, really took charge and let me spend time reconnecting with friends, and I can see how the importance of parenting in partnership will amplify as we go forward.

A particularly awesome moment was the wedding reception cocktail hour, as Oliver reached up and grabbed bridesmaid booty several times in a row, to the squealing laughs of the crowd, and of course Oliver. Several little girls adored him too and we sampled letting him be carried around by the herd of young children who want to be in charge of the babies.

Walking delights Oliver. I can see the joy in his eyes and expressions as he walks across a room and can so easily access the things he sees. He explores with vigor. Fortunately, he also slept really well all weekend too, so perhaps the walking will help keep some schedule in our lives.

The Joy of Family

We just spent 11 days in California with my family (minus Eric). We had the immense privilege of borrowing a family friends amazing home right on the beach in Cayucos, a wonderfully sleepy beach town with very little to do. Because of the babies and never matching nap schedules, we did a whole lot of nothing, reading, lounging, cooking, eating, talking and watching Oliver and baby cousin Louisa interact.

I was delighted to see Oliver interact with family and get to know his family in a new way. He climbed into their arms willingly by the middle of the week, clearly knowing their love and protection for him. We spent a day with some of my Dad's family and Oliver's only great-grandfather, G-Gpa and cousin Hadley, and a day with my Mom's family and cousin Kallie, where Oliver is the big boy! He loved all those girls, smiled in their faces and smacked them (touched them lovingly) to play.

The distance is really hard on us, but I am grateful for the moments we do get and for all the family love we receive, no matter the miles.
Grammy, Louisa, Pops and Ollie at the fried fish hut on Morro Bay.


Ollie checks out little Louisa in Aunt Laura's lap


Pops assists.


Sunsets are best when cuddled in the arms of an Auntie!


Games with G-Gpa!


Grammy's heaven is a beach with a grandson.


They like each other.


Babies!


The HEF Clan!

Diverse beginnings

I took WALKING Oliver to our neighborhood park tonight and we both discovered how much more fun a park can be once you are foot-mobile! He just officially started walking last night and already he walked all over the playground, up and down stairs, ramps, and even a slide!

As soon as we arrived at the park I noticed how packed it was, but that's common in the City, especially in Albany Park. Immediately I also was happy to hear constant, "ay, el bebe, el bebe!, muy guapo, so cute, cuantos meses, ayy, los ojos, etc." I smiled, thanked everyone and did my best to make some Spanish smalltalk. As Ollie climbed a new apparatus I got a good glance around me and realized why he was such an attraction - he's white! They might as well have been saying, "a blonde boy, blue eyes, so pale!" And it was true, he was the ONLY blonde on the packed playground.

I was so pleased to see him interacting so happily with so many other kids. He walked right up to a Mom and her little girl playing a clapping game and literally climbed into her lap and started clapping as well. He was very warmly received.

Sometimes we miss our old neighborhoods, with Starbucks and restaurants around the corner, but on nights like this, I'm so grateful to be giving Ollie such a diverse start on life, even if it means we have to drive most places and can only walk to the Taqueria or falafel hut. I can only hope these memories, or at least the pictures, are creating the foundation for a life of equality and justice seeking.

My blondie

Summer in the City