Growing Up with Love

I can't quite describe just how happy Oliver is in Fresno, at my parents house. He's a slightly different kid out there. He seems more relaxed, and more adventurous. He explores their big old house with real delight and plays in a different way. As soon as we arrive he focuses on the doors, "outside? outside?" He sits in the kitchen with my parents, watching the birds at the birdfeeder, the squirrels below, the flowers blooming, the orange trees, the green grass. He wants to play in the pool, happy to get to lay on the cement and swirl his hands in the "wawa". He can open their front door since it's a handle type, not a knob, and 3 times he left, closed the door behind him, and then proceeded to get in trouble for going outside alone. The first time we found him it must have been 10 minutes because he was cold and his feet were muddy. Scary yes, but my Dad did some bubble wrap magic to the door and ended that behavior. But he just loves it. We wants to play in the yard, walk around the sidewalks, see things, explore.

And there is no denying how much he loves my parents. He soaks up their love for him like a sponge and is just so amazingly happy hanging out with them. From Christmas to this visit I noticed no hesitation to remember. He played and cuddled hard with my Dad this trip, giving lots of hugs, lots of laughing, and lots of games. He plays "night night/ wake up" with my mom alone, never with us here in Chicago. I also can't deny that for ALL the people who adore Oliver in this world, there is nothing that compares to the love of a grandparent. I see that differently now, and I'm grateful.

I sat with a great Puerto Rican woman on the plane to LAX who told me about her 7 y.o son who had struggled with self esteem and school, and then she said that whenever they take him back to Puerto Rico he gets taller. She said it could be the hormones in the meat, but she thinks it's all the love he gets from all his family members, that makes him grow. I loved that story.

But, it is also a hard realization that our current lifestyle is perhaps not THE best for him. Clearly, Ollie is a kid who needs a yard, room to play, and space. I also think he is a kid who needs to be surrounded with more family and friends. Our lives are just so busy and Chicago is so intense and sometimes I think he might be a bit lonely. He has his daycare friends 2 days a week, which he loves, but the rest of the time he pretty much gets Mom and Dad.

It's all ok for now, all things will come in time, I choose to believe that. My realization is more just the reality that Oliver's needs are a real factor for our family now. We're 3, in every way.

Tubes

Oliver had his first ever surgery last week, to put tubes in his ears. He's had ear infections most of his life (or it feels that way) and especially since Christmas (actually since the first day he started daycare) he's had a chronic ear infection. So, after 4 rounds of antibiotics, we saw an ENT and Children's Memorial who immediately said intervention would help. We had to wait a whole month for the actual procedure (still dealing with sick Ollie), and finally last Tuesday happened. Ollie actually loved the attention at first - the nurses with toys, ALL those anesthesia residents, and the awesome baby hospital gown!
The surgeon let me carry him into the OR to calm him down and even hold him in my lap while they put on the gas mask and he fell asleep. He fought it hard, but it was quick. It was very strange to feel my baby go so lifeless in my arms.
But within 15 minutes of getting to the waiting room she came back out with a successful report and we were heading back to recovery. He was already up, in the arms of a sweet nurse, and he said, "Mama!" with some tears in his eyes. I held him and he seemed about 97% back to normal immediately. He drank some juice, ate some crackers, and we went home. Easiest surgery ever!

But more importantly, we flew to CA two days later and he seemed a bit more at ease on the plane - less pressure perhaps.
He hasn't woken up with a mask of snot all week, finally breathing easier!
And - I already notice more words exploding out of him! The surgeon told us there was a lot of think fluid in his ears, so of course he can hear better now.
Over the time in CA he popped out "elephant, on/off, Meeka (Mickey Mouse), flower, street" and most importantly, he sang "Happy Birthday to You" for my mom, over and over, dancing included.

It was definitely the right choice for him, but I genuinely hope he doesn't need to go back to any hospitals for a very very long time.