The emotions of it all

Since becoming a mother my emotions for children worldwide have skyrocketed. I went on a run this morning and did a loop through a large park that was full of softball games.
Game 1: 2 friendly lesbian teams with 100 fans in camping chairs cheering them on.
Game 2: 14 year old boys with a few coaches
Game 3: Strong dark hispanic men playing baseball with 1 fan wearing a thong bikini.
Game 4: Tball game of 4 year old boys with oodles of parents and siblings. The players looked like babies running the bases with bobble helmet heads.
Game 5: Special needs teams with each kid on the field with a parent. At bat, a severely disabled little girl (who I'd actually met at the park before) in her wheel chair with her young father helping her "swing" at the ball.

Game 5 instantly brought tears to my eyes, mixed in with the sweat from running.

There is something about understanding the needs of a baby that makes me incredibly sensitive to the needs of the kids who so often simply don't get their needs met, go without and are in want. I'm grateful to provide for my child, I want to fill his life and keep loneliness away from him.

We just saw Where the Wild Things Are and both loved the movie and was left with a lingering awareness of how many times, countless times, I will fail Oliver. I will screw up, I will work too much, I'll ignore him, not see the importance of his forts and his adventures. "Being a family is hard," says KW to Max as they discuss the importance of a mother and why Max left home. I'm aware that my ability to protect him is finite, but my desire to try is infinite.




I'll eat you up, I love you so.