Growing Up with Love

I can't quite describe just how happy Oliver is in Fresno, at my parents house. He's a slightly different kid out there. He seems more relaxed, and more adventurous. He explores their big old house with real delight and plays in a different way. As soon as we arrive he focuses on the doors, "outside? outside?" He sits in the kitchen with my parents, watching the birds at the birdfeeder, the squirrels below, the flowers blooming, the orange trees, the green grass. He wants to play in the pool, happy to get to lay on the cement and swirl his hands in the "wawa". He can open their front door since it's a handle type, not a knob, and 3 times he left, closed the door behind him, and then proceeded to get in trouble for going outside alone. The first time we found him it must have been 10 minutes because he was cold and his feet were muddy. Scary yes, but my Dad did some bubble wrap magic to the door and ended that behavior. But he just loves it. We wants to play in the yard, walk around the sidewalks, see things, explore.

And there is no denying how much he loves my parents. He soaks up their love for him like a sponge and is just so amazingly happy hanging out with them. From Christmas to this visit I noticed no hesitation to remember. He played and cuddled hard with my Dad this trip, giving lots of hugs, lots of laughing, and lots of games. He plays "night night/ wake up" with my mom alone, never with us here in Chicago. I also can't deny that for ALL the people who adore Oliver in this world, there is nothing that compares to the love of a grandparent. I see that differently now, and I'm grateful.

I sat with a great Puerto Rican woman on the plane to LAX who told me about her 7 y.o son who had struggled with self esteem and school, and then she said that whenever they take him back to Puerto Rico he gets taller. She said it could be the hormones in the meat, but she thinks it's all the love he gets from all his family members, that makes him grow. I loved that story.

But, it is also a hard realization that our current lifestyle is perhaps not THE best for him. Clearly, Ollie is a kid who needs a yard, room to play, and space. I also think he is a kid who needs to be surrounded with more family and friends. Our lives are just so busy and Chicago is so intense and sometimes I think he might be a bit lonely. He has his daycare friends 2 days a week, which he loves, but the rest of the time he pretty much gets Mom and Dad.

It's all ok for now, all things will come in time, I choose to believe that. My realization is more just the reality that Oliver's needs are a real factor for our family now. We're 3, in every way.